This is so fucking hilarous: the GusGus Tom Selleck Competition. I imagine the Tom Selleck Shield is similar to the award Wendy and I came up with, The Golden Sandwich, bestowed upon the skinniest, scrawniest, sickliest boy with the tightest pants at a rock show. GusGus are playing at Bowery Ballroom on Monday, September 30, an event I am already planning will merit a "sick day" from work Tuesday.

Today I had an echocardiogram, as my doctor thinks my mitral valve prolapse may have reversed itself. The technician was this massive Russian man with big black glasses who spoke spotty English. He was trying to tell me to breath "lightly" and he said something like "I will move around absolutely, but as for the excitement, that is where it's at." Uh, ok. So in the middle of the echo the phone rings and he stops to answer it (!) and starts speaking in Russian. When the echo was over he went behind a curtain so I could put my shirt back on, and the phone rings again, and he comes rushing out while I still have my shirt off and answers the phone, which was right next to me. What is this guy's problem? He kept saying we were done to whoever was on the phone. So just as I get my shirt on some woman in an NYU Medical Center lab coat comes in with her Chinese take-out and puts it on the table I had just been laying on. "Oh, sorry I thought you were totally finished" she said. Whatever. I guess they don't take echocardiograms very seriously around there.