Now this sounds like absolute mayhem! I think the way this was written cracks me up more than the actual event.

You try and try to convince us, Mott's, but even adding hard alcohol cannot soften Clamato's dead-fish taste. Your "Bloody Caesar" is the freak bastard child of a bloody mary and Manhattan clam chowder. They keep him locked up in the basement, and with good reason. He makes your vodka reek of clams! This bloody ne'er-do-well is my mouth's evil nemesis. It is also Canada's number-one selling cocktail. Need I say more? From "Open Letter to the People at Mott's," McSweeney's.